Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary…
Backofmyneep. Backof. Boss. A riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma. Rumours, hearsay and legend surround every aspect of her being. The offspring of a Hercules and Helen of Troy. A refugee from a dying world of super beings. A child born among the ashes of Rome and raised by wolves. Who is this woman? Where did she come from? Why has she bought us all together?
So many questions remained unanswered about our glamorous but hard as nails leader… until now.
On a dark and stormy night, while huddled up nervously under her duvet watching The Walking Dead season finale, Blondie received a cryptic text message inviting her to meet The Boss at the cliffs overlooking El Gordo lighthouse. A thunderclap and flash of lightning accompanied Blondie’s apprehensive reply, but the die was cast… she had been summoned.
What occurred on that bleak and rainy night, is now too the stuff of legend. With whispers of the unquiet dead hanging on the air around them, The Boss told her trusted lieutenant everything!
What you are bout to read below is the conversation that occurred that fateful night….
Blondie: So… uh…thanks for inviting me out here…Seriously? Here!?!? Why not over a coffee at Bean Machine? Geez… okay, why don’t we start at the beginning, seems logical being the beginning and all… what made you form the crew? What were your aspirations for it when you started?
Boss: The Pussi Riot was born, because I wasn’t any good and I knew with a crew, there came many advantages. One being having a horde of personal bodyguards! Now I can go doing all the things I never could before such as; smashing up cars with my baseball bat, falling off my BMX, taking nice photos and catching some rays at the beach.
Also, as with all games in life, whether it be, boardgames or ps3 or sport or even sex. Games are quantifiably (x2) better for every additional player. I mean, 1-player Mario Kart was alright but 4 players had you throwing your shit at the walls, screaming at how much fun you were having. So it stands to reason, having 16 of ya buddies all giggling along would be 32 times better then playing on your lonesome.
Oh yeah, totally. I’ll never forget the first rime I played Mario Kart…
Blondie’s unfinished sentence hung in the air like a bad smell… sulphur fumes wafting across an over sixties nudist beach. The glazed look and sagging jaw of her lieutenant forcing The Boss to clap her hands in annoyance.
Woah! What? Right… uh… who was the first member to join and how did you manage to persuade them to follow you on this ‘Highway To Hell’?
The Boss nodded approvingly and the faintest of smiles crept across her face before continuing.
The first Rioter was my right hand girl, Randy. Randy was on-board from day one. I remember queuing til 3am on the 17th of November then playing til it was light, Randy was by my side the whole time.
We realised the countdown was on! In 2 weeks time the multi player came out and we wanted to be fully versed on all aspects of the game in time for the online release. We also knew that poor ‘ol Mikey and company would not get a look in once the online was out. So we wanted to finish the game. Then start our online careers moving up the ranks.
The girl character theme was an easy choice. Who doesn’t enjoy dressing up and high heels? We decided on Pussi Riot as we could kind of piggyback off the Russian band that was in the news at the time, plus we had already imagined how cool two bikini clad, gun totting girls would be.
I had a terrible dream about pigs once. They were in gyrocopters and screaming at me to turn my music down… terrible….
The Boss cocked her head to one side in bemusement, the rolling thunder coming in off the bay seeming to echo her shifting mood.
Sorry! Uh… sidetracked…you know me and tangents!?!? Hmmm… Oh… how do you rate how things have gone since you first formed the crew? What has been your proudest moment? What success stories have you had?
I’m real happy with the way its gone and think our crew is one of the best out there (the best at having fun that is). As for my proudest moment; I think it’s every time I look in on our riot photostream, seeing you gals having fun.
We have had loads of successes over the last 3 months or so and it was a real milestone getting to 100 members, since then we have grown and grown. We have some big plans for the crew and so many tricks up our sleeves. Its just a matter of rolling them out.
I think last months crew party was the biggest achievement we have managed so far and I am already looking towards our next party. Running regular competitions with in-game prizes is going to be loads of fun and will get us all trying are very best.
I like prizes! I once won a trophy for my hamster at school. Sorry, sidetracked again. Focus Blondie… focus! Um… who are the crews most valuable players and what do they bring to the crew?
You are all valuable to me! But the valuable’ist… Well from what I have seen we all have our strengths. Mapes is our go to tech gal when it comes to to cracking laptops or safes. Star (Arcticsunset) enthusiastically proved her chopper skilz. Esdwace is our Rambo. Cat’s a dead eye sniper. Hurri’s work on the blog is great, Randy’s commitment to shooting face is remarkable. And of course you Blondie, your great for crew morale, an awesome little author and always energising the troops via the R* social club crew page.
(Blushes) Aw schucks. With the blog up and running and a presence now established on the GTA forums, do you believe the crew is now gaining more noteriety? How would you like to build on these platforms and others moving forward?
As long as we can carry on doing what we are doing I would be happy. The more members I can get to use the blog the better tool it will become, I see it being a resource for everything GTA online has to offer (eventually).
I also imagine us with 300 regular players all over the world each bringing something a little different to the riot. There are grand plans in development, some are top secret others are getting close to visualisation.
My next plan is for us to get a deathmatch team/s to take on other crews. I think it would be a great achievement to appear in the official R* crews newsletter but understand there are lots of crew out there eager to impress.
And finally where do you see the crew over the next 6-12 months?
Still rocking the GTA world. You never know that by then we might have a new city to run-a-mock in.From what I have heard we will be getting San Feirro or Las Venturas next, hell maybe even Vice city in the future. I imagine we will have a full member register and will be looking at getting global location specific sub crews on the go such as Pussi Riot France or Pussi Riot North america. There is so much scope for growth is amazing and with so many active members its going to be a riot.
Ooo…ooo…like a Burger Shot franchise?
Behind the bosses mirror shades, burned an incredulous look that no amount of grovelling or giggling was going to change, so Blondie backed away grinning. It was the sort of nervous grin a child would give a rabid dog after it had eaten its way through the fence and in to their garden. Then she ran and never once looked back….