They (whoever “they” are) say that art imitates life. But for me its more of a case of my life imitating art instead.
As I am sure you are aware by now I like to see myself as a very cultured person (because I am..) and as I have mentioned before when I am not busy blowing things up on the streets of Los Santos I like to escape from the harsh realities of life by retiring to my art studio.
Since when do I have an art studio? Well have you ever noticed those doors in your apartments that you can’t open? Well I managed to open one of mine and thus my art studio was born!
I like to take my inspiration from what goes on around me in life, therefore some of my art work has taken a somewhat Pussi Riot form. It seems that no matter how much I try to escape I cant get you lot out of my head!
So, if you would allow me to indulge myself for a bit, I would like to take you around my Pussi Riot Art Gallery, a gallery that is forever expanding so make sure to check back in future for more artwork. Entrance is free but charitable donations are welcome…
The Scream (Edvard Munch)
This is my first ever painting (or “drawing” to some of you out there who lack culture).
After a night out on the town with The Lamplighter (aka Swashbuckler TR) she came to stay in my apartment as she was far too drunk to get home herself. Midway through the night she woke up and started screaming and run out of the building.
Quite why she did this is anybodys guess. She claims it was because she got confused waking up in a strange place, however maybe she bumped into my apartments ghost? He often turns up in the computer room keying away at the desk acting like there is a keyboard attached to my PC…weird huh?
Anyway this incident along with Lamplighters rather…unique expression lead me to create my first masterpiece.
An undoubted somewhat modern classic, American Gothic has also been a favourite of mine.
After looking in the mirror one day I thought, hmmmm im looking rather old today. Maybe I should use that to my advantage and get painting!
So I jump in the car to Grapeseed to find a building that I could use for the painting, grabbed a pitchfork I (after stabbing many people with it, naturally) and called whatever blondes I knew to come up and help me with the female character in the scene.
Blondie was busy as her car had fell into a lake again but thankfully Kindersurprise77 was at a loose end and was willing to help out. And what a surprise it was, it actually turned out rather well I think!
I always found Kahlo’s work to be rather interesting. Its very self deprecating yet also understatedly wild.
On a rare day off from work Banksieboy666 suggested that we pass some time by playing some team death matches. I assume the bowling alley was closed or something…
Anyway as per usual I was getting shot in the face left right and centre whilst running round in circles not having a clue what I was doing. But this time I had an excuse for my poor showing. Half way through the match whilst me and Banksie were in cover I couldn’t help notice that Banskie had a rather noticeable five o’ clock shadow.
When I asked her about this (because of course the best time to ask about facial hair is when trying to hide from an RPG wielding maniac) she muttered something about hormones and ran off on a shooting spree.
Speaking of facial hair….
Raxo-d or Grody to the Max as you may know her is sporting a rather fetching moustache and soul patch combo here.
I would like to point out that these are props and not real.
There is no real back story regarding this painting. Grody is Dutch, Frans Hal was Dutch. She was available to pose for me. Job done.
She makes me laugh anyway.
This is probably my favourite artistic work of mine.
I love how it turned out. For this creation I reached out to some friends of friends, crew members who I very rarely see on the streets of Los Santos but seemingly have tons of fun in their own rights.
This here is SlimsyG. She reminds me of somebody….
I let her keep the earring. Im nice like that. She would have just stole it from me anyway.
One of the worlds most famous paintings this time featuring one of our most famous crew members!
Me and a bunch of crew members were one day setting up to have a race, I believe the plans was to head from Vinewood Hills down to Del Perro.
As we were about to set off StardustXO (Arcticsunset to her friends) kept complaining about the route we were going to take. “Why are we going to Del Perro?, We should go to the airport, Why are we driving, we could have an air race, why are all the cars not purple?” etc etc.
I was in a bad mood after a long day at work so lost me temper and shouted “Oh my god Star, you are such a Moaner! We should call you Moaner Lisa instead!”
And that was my lightbulb over the head moment. I think it turned out quite well actually. Couldnt quite get the famous Mona Lisa smile right, probably because Star was too busy snarling at me for calling her a moaner.
She reminds me of somebody too….
One of my favourite painters brought to life by one of the Xbox crew.
Combat Guppy is in love with a prostitute, cut off her own ear and drinks heavily just like Vincent. It was a natural progression to select her for this piece of work.
Not all art has to be the same. I have long been a fan of Man Ray and his photographic art.
Glass Tears is one of my favourites and right after the Nurburgring Grand Prix Hurri Household stormed up to me and started shouting at me for being a dirty driver.
She went on at me for a good ten minutes telling me how dangerous my move on the hairpin was and that it could have killed both of us. She had tears of rage in her eyes.
After she had finished her rant she said “Are you even listening to me? What do you have to say for yourself??” To which I answered “you have beautiful eyes, I simply must paint them…”
The Birth of Venus (Sandro Boticelli)
And this right here is my latest piece of work. Its not quite finished yet a you can probably tell but its getting there! I got this idea after hitting the bong that magically appeared in my room one day. So let me explain the scene to you.
Mokoba (complete with her blue nipples) is being born out of a clam in the sea whilst Backof throws stuff at her and Randy and Kimberley are either blowing in her or spitting at her, I cant quite decide which one yet. I tend to just make these things up as I go along really!
Anyway thank you for indulging me. Please visit the gift shop on the way out and feel free to give generously with any charitable donations.