Hello ladies, I trust we are all well this evening?
Well You will never guess what happened to me today. (ignoring the massive image at the top of this page telling you what happened of course…)
It was a normal type of day at Fleeca Bank. People came in, people gave me money that they never hope to see again and I spent much longer than I should hiding in the lavatory on the Los Santos Customs app on my Ifruit. (it never worked…)
So at lunch time I was dying to get out for a bit, maybe go for a smoke, a coffee from Bean Machine and a bit of fresh air. But on my way back in to the shop I bumped into an old school friend called…well I can’t remember what his name was. We were never that close. Anyhoo he was in store to beg for us not to make him homeless after some poor investments on the BAWSAQ. Quite how he has done that when it hasn’t moved for months is anyones guess, but thats irrelevant.
My many hours of training in customer care advised me that when a man is having a breakdown on my office desk then it is probably best for me to take his mind off things. So I tried by asking him about the local sports team, I dont like sports so I just said “hey what about that sports team of ours huh? Phew yeah go team”.
He didn’t seem interested….
I asked him if he was married somehow. He responded by saying he was but his wife ran away to become a stripper. Her name was Nikki and she was one of those transgenderals or whatever they call themselves these days.
He then broke down in tears. Hmmm what could I do? Oh I know! This always gets the punters laughing, I gave him my best Jazz Hands!
He just looked at me blankly.
So I handed him a form to complete a bankruptcy claim (I don’t know how it works OK?) when I noticed under occupation he had written “TV Producer” Now that was interesting. I love a bit of TV. So I asked him if he was a famous TV producer couldn’t he just create a great show and pay the debt off that way?
He said he had a great idea, but it would never come to fruition unless he could become solvent again. His plan was to host a TV chat show focussing around the seedy underbelly of Los Santos and the gangs that roam the streets. All he needed was a good gang as a subject and a dashing young(ish) hostess to run the show and book the guests.
Well one mildly sizeable cheque later and it seems I now have my own TV Chat show! Pretty neat huh? Look at the set!
Pretty suave im sure you agree!
And yes I know the name is quite rubbish. I wanted it to be called “Getting to know muh” but the programming commissioners put a stop to it after they heard me singing the theme tune to it. They must not want the voice of an angel on screen. I guess its not fair on everybody else on TV….
So…. the next step. I need guests. If you would like to appear on my show please send me a PM as I would love to have you on. yes you reading this right now! No not you….the other person reading!
It wont be a “real” TV show (at least not yet) but what it will involve is my asking you a series of questions, hard hitting questions of course, im a proper investigative journalist now as I learnt how to do it on Wikipedia, and then I will posts them onto the site with some stupid graphics.
I look forward to hearing from you! Now if you will excuse me i’m off out to buy some new outfit for the show. What do you mean there ARE no new outfits this month? Dont start me moaning because thats another blog post for the none to distant future!
Molly (yes, her off the TV.)
PS. SIGN UP FOR GOLF!