Beyond the Riot: Unnecessary People


Do you ever think about the guy you stole a car from? Where was he going to? How did you affect his life? Or did you ever try to feel the last thoughts/feelings of that police officer you shot? Before closing for the last time, what was his eyes trying to say? Here are the thoughts of NPCs of Los Santos.


Ponsonbys Saleslady

I worked as a saleslady all my life in different places. Recently I am working at Ponsonbys, a high-class clothing brand. I love my job, talking to people and convince them to buy stuff, but sometimes I find myself standing behind the desk thinking, everyday I help people buying thousands of dollars worth of clothes. Almost every price tag on the store is greater than my salary and I am standing here wearing the nice clothes given by the company, feeling like wearing a uniform and shit. Anyway our best customers are the girls of Pussi Riot. They usually come here in groups and buy new clothes and accessories. Sometimes they also bring their cars in and maybe blow them up, but it is okay, we love our customers.


Ammu-Nation Guy

We just recived a new shipment of pink tinted weapons exclusive for Pussi Riot. What would we do with these pinks if it weren’t for them. God bless America and Pussi Riot! And girls if the cops ask, you didn’t get it here okay?


 Sergeant Major Nolan

After two years of service in Fort Baxter Air Base in Vice City, I’ve been assigned to Fort Zancudo as a back up. We have so many casualties there. The thing about Fort Zancudo is, it’s the most important military base in the area which makes it a target for villains in LS. Pussi Riot is a group of villains terrorizing the civilians and fighting against the law. They attack with their full power once a month and we put everything we got to fend them off. When they leave, they left million dollars of damage. Pussi Riot is a dangerous organization and we are going to kill every single of them. Now it is their turn to ring doorbells to give sad news.


Vanilla Unicorn Bartender

When I first started to work here I was a stripper, earning more than expected and I was paying for my BeeJay XL easily, but then the manager decided to put me in charge of the bar, because fitter girls were started to work. Yes I am talking about Fufu and Chastity, I love you girls. Apart from the fitter strippers I also broke up with my boyfriend who happens to be the manager. Yes, we were dating. Now I earn lesser, and need to work longer, but can’t risk quitting. Best part of working in Vanilla Unicorn as a bartender is to watch people watching strippers. The change in their faces and mimics as the music and figures change. At somepoint you’ll be sure who will pay for a private dance, who will order drinks and even what they will drink. This aquarium behind me is also under my responsibility. The fish here are Nemo and Dory, the manager gave those names how original. We know how great Pussi Riot are, they are always welcome here, but it will be better if they don’t beat up our bouncer regularly.


Epsilonists Stacy and Julie

After joining the Epsilon Program I’ve found the true feeling of happiness. The world outside of Epsilon is a meaningless consumption frenzy. We spend all our time here studying the tenets of Epsilonism and work on the tract which has not been written. Pussi Riot is just like the Cult Stoppers, but more dangerous. What do they think of us, a cult? If they want to mess with somebody they can go up to Altruist Camp. Pussi Riot must come and seek the help of Kraff, the Emperor of the 4th Paradigm, but before that they should pay a small fee with couple of zeros to be cleansed from the material world. KIFFLOM! Here’s the 11th tenet, If you believe this and turn your hands and wallet over to Epsilonism, you’ll live a happy life. Otherwise you are doomed – FACT!


Mansion Girl

I came to Los Santos to be a model and I can say things went good for me since I end up being a Mansion Girl, The life in the mansion is awesome, we have everything, doesn’t matter if we need it or not. Best parties are here, nice friends and awesome personel, but when you really spend time living in the mansion you get bored of it. I am not sure if bored is the correct word. You just want to leave and experience another life. The mansion becomes too comfortable. It feels like I am living in my teenage years again and getting the same excitement to know that I’ll leave home someday and start my own life. I envy the riot when they are bullying the streets. Sometimes they come to the mansion take our topless pictures, because we love to chill topless in the pool. Hide in our cave shoot some cops show them the finger, salute each other and then leave. When I get alone time, I think about what does being a rioter feel like. Wish I find a place for me in Pussi Riot someday.



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