Lets face it, living in Los Santos in 2015 is hard. As soon as you wake up you have some short arsed guy inviting you to his apartment and even if you wanted some midget loving you cant leave the house as some mouth breathing miscreant is roaming the streets in a tank waiting to shoot you for nothing.
But never fear because as per usual Pussi Riot have the answer for you!
No seriously. Let me explain….
After a particularly heavy night of drinking me and Grody were stuck on Vinewood Boulevard with no money and no way of getting home (Ignoring the fact we all own property all over the city). So we did what all classy ladies do, we found somewhere to sleep on the streets. In the process we stumbled upon this place.
Incase you didnt know this is the LSDWP Substation just of Vinewood Boulevard. Everything was perfectly normal until Grody decided she needed a pee and thought it would be funny to do her business on the electricity pylons.
And the next thing we knew we were back in the 30s! We experimented a bit and worked out that what we drunk beforehand would alter what year we ended up in. Pisswasser took is into the 30s, Green Juice landed us in the 60s and I wont go into what we drank to get into the 80’s but lets just say we got there!
So then we thought, wouldnt it be fun to party like its 1929? And 69, and 89 etc etc. So here we are. So lets get all Sam Beckett and take a stroll through time.
Of course our first destination is the substation. And after that who knows where we will end up?
Well actually we do coz we created the party games.
Grody can explain this one better here
The Jimi Hendrix Experience.
We have all heard of Woodstock right? Joe Cocker getting by with a little help from his friends, Arlo Guthrie coming into Los Angeles etc and of course Jimi Hendrix playing the Star Spangled Banner. Well did you know that before Woodstock there was going to be a show called Bowlstock? It was destined to be bigger than Woodstock but Jimi Hendrix’s roadies went on strike and instead we were stuck with Acker Bilk playing the anthem on his clarinet. he wasnt even American! Get the roadies back to work and make musical history.
Weather it be on the Grassy Knoll (does the term Knoll ever get used in any other context??) or in the book depository a good view is essential for this unique piece of Americana (kind of)
2 of your team are on the ground and need to drive the cars to their destination following a neatly planned route around the city. The rest of you take the role of Lee Harvey Oswald (allegedly) and try to blast those presidential brains all over the back seat.
There really wasnt a nicer way to put that!
Manson Family Values
You have been invited to some strange mans party in his Vinewood mansion. Rumours have it that his “family” are a bit “stabby” but will that stop you from getting the free booze? Will it f*ck! Infact it looks like the booze has been spiked and the party has got violent. Ah well, if you cant beat them, join them. Its Helter Skelter time.
The Camper Van Classic
Grapeseed wasnt always a sleepy town (and by that I mean inbred). Back in the 60s it was a hive of activity due to a race simply known as the Camper Van Classic.
Racers would come from far and wide to participate in the annual Camper Van race famed for its long sweeping curves and its rickity bridge section. This all changed in 1963 when after a series of accidents the race was cancelled and Grapeseed has fell into decline ever since.
Rerun the 1963 event and try not to die. Simple really.
Well i thought the 80s would be easy. Most of us lived through them so we knew what we were dealing with right? Wrong! Instead of setting out to save the world Grody decided to buy some pills from a guy with a disturbingly round yellow head.
What could go wrong right? Well how about falling into a wild hallucination were we are actually pac man and the maze is filled with human ghosts (or just ghosts as they are known…)
Waka Waka Waka.
The Berlin Wall
As much as I loved the old DDR I guess the wall coming down was a good thing although it did lead to David Hasselhoff singing up there which was a bit weird. It also put an end to impromptu sporting events between the youths of the East and West called erm…Das Wall Blitzen. Yeah sorry my German ist nein good..en.
Two teams, one wall. Last team standing.
And there is more! Though what there is we are not sure yet but will update this post as it happens! Sorry for the almost quite sloppy post here but im currently partying with the PS4ers!
Listen, just be there tomorrow night for the PS3 party. Me, Grody and some awesome creations/games as we travel through time and pee on electricity pylons. What more could you ask for??