PS3 – Grody’s send-off party

As you all know I will be moving to PS4 in a few weeks. After two years of playing with you on PS3, I can’t just ride off into the sunset without throwing a good shindig!

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Join the gang on PSNPussi Riot PSN and here… Pussi Riot PSN official blog

I’ll start off by saying that I won’t be gone forever. I will still hang out with all the cool PS3 people from time to time (and whenever someone wants to play together). Nonetheless a proper see you later is in order.

The party will be on December 18 at 20:00 GMT

To commemorate all of the good times we’ve had together, I want to create a playlist with all of your best jobs. To submit your job, simply send me a link to it on the SC and I’ll add it to the playlist. (max 1 job per person)

For the final bit of the party to work, I’ll need a few PS4 people to attend, as we’ll be sailing off into the sunset together.

The schedule is as follows:

  • During the first hour we’ll get ready, wait for possible latecomers and simply have some free roam fun together.
  • Once the first hour is over, we’ll launch the playlist.
  • After the playlist we’ll take a 15 minute break, so that people can go potty, fix themselves a drink, prepare a quick midnight snack, give me a foot massage etc.
  • After the break (and depending on the time) I’ll launch a second playlist with memorable jobs from some of the previous crew parties.
  • Once the playlist is over, we’ll go to the marina and wait for the sunset. For the send-off I need all the PS4 people to get on my sailboat and we’ll start sailing off into the sunset (until we hit the edge and drown I guess) the PS3 peeps follow in any kid of vehicle (be creative!)
  • If the night is still fairly young, we’ll hang out until after Sesame Street and then hit the hay.

There’s no dress code, but no black suits, I’m not dead :p

That’s all folks, I’ll see you at the party! ^_^

Xbox 360 – July Crew Party Announcement!

Welcome to the pussi riot army recruitment centre. Well we have a few options that we think will work for you!

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So this months 360 Crew party is military themed, however, we won’t just be blowing stuff sky high (don’t get angry, we will do this aswell Sonic. I know how you love to bliw things up! :D). So, as I was saying, we won’t just be blowing stuff up. We will have a whole war! No, all of you older folk, you don’t have to clean your glasses, we are going to war… with ourselves.

‘How can we go to our war with ourselves, that is just stupid. Why are you so stupid? You anger me by being so stupid! Aaaaaaaagh!’

Ok, ok calm down and stop throwing things! Following will be two recruitment posters for the two sides of the war. (1) Merryweather Security Special Forces (2) The Pussi Riot R.A.T.s (see how we did that. You know because the PS side have the riot alpha task force for deathmatches, we can use just the name for the crew party!)

Both sides have their pros and their cons and you will have the opportunity to choose a side. Then when we’re all dressed up we will play a variety of “training” games in a playlist.

So let me show you all the recruitment posters, just know that you can’t choose any side yet untill the next post when I give you each teams uniforms and details.

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PS4 – The Annual Pussi Riot Vacation

PR holiday banner

Poor Molly can’t be arsed this month and I reckon I know why…She needs a holiday!

On PSNPussi Riot PSN and here… Pussi Riot PSN official blog
All that overtime she’s been putting in at Fleeca hasn’t been enough to pay for that lovely new chrome Osiris that she claims to everyone that she doesn’t want. But if truth be known its more to do with the fact that Blondie has been borrowing cash off her left right and centre and Grody has been causing her to lose all her no claims bonus on vehicle repairs…Poor Molly 😥
So this coming Saturday (May 27) we will party like we’ve never partied before as we’re going to join Ms Holywell on a week long vacation to San Andreas’s warmer resorts (btw that’s a week in GTA time which equates to an evening in real time!)

Now the first thing you do when your about to set off on your holidays is to make sure you’ve packed everything you need in your suitcase. So make sure you have your passport, sun tan lotion, and shades with ya. You’re also gonna need to make sure you have the right outfit for the right occasion. Obviously you’re gonna need that skimpy bikini to show off the bod  you’ve been working on down at the gym since New Years. But this is a Pussi Riot vacation so you’re gonna be taking part in all kinds of activities that the tour rep has put on. So make sure to pack a sturdy pair of walking boots and a rain coat, as the last thing you need is to get caught in a thunder storm with just your heels!

We’ll then all meet up at LS International Airport where we will take to the skies in order to embark on our journey to the first mystery exotic destination. I say mystery coz  not even the pilot knows where we’re going yet….But I’m sure it will all be fine.

Once we’ve had plenty of opportunity to sun ourselves, take a dip in the sea and take in some of the sights we’ll start the first playlist. Which this month has been specially selected by our tour guide (coz its a budget package deal) So don’t go blaming Scuba if the races are too hard or if there’s not enough death matches coz she didn’t get to chose the activities ok! ;-P

Flight of the Osiris

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For many of us the highlight of the recent DLC was the introduction of the Pegassi Osiris. Finally a car in GTA that is as beautiful as it is fast. It’s also a very sturdy and versatile car that can cope easily with most conditions.

Now the most prominent feature on this admittedly over priced super car is its gull wing doors. But apart from been a swish way to get in and out of your car these doors serve no other purpose

………………………………………..OR DO THEY??

I’ve devised a little free roam party game which involves climbing to the top of Ratton Canyon to the bridge where you jump off at the end of the Pacific Standard Heist finale.

You will then need to phone for your Osiris. Don’t worry if you haven’t got one as we need passengers to be able to pull this trick off.

We will then take it in turns in pairs to hurtle at top speed off the cliff’s edge and then at the optimum moment both driver and passenger will exit the Osiris and parachute to safety. The car should then glide for some time before coming to a stop.

The winner will be the pair who manage to get the Osiris to fly the furthest.

The Finale

We haven’t stormed the military base at the end of a party for quite some time now. So lets do just that! It should be especially fun now that many of have Hydra’s, Valkyries and Savages. We could also try air lifting Rhino’s and Insurgents with Cargo Bobs.

This isn’t strictly part of the tour operators list of planned activities. But I’m sure Bobcat will have killed the tour guide before we even take off in the first place, so who gives a fuck what they want us to do and in which order?

We are Pussi Riot, so we don’t need no jumped up lil nazi to tell us what we can do or when we can do it.

All this sound good to you? Well just make sure your online this Saturday night where your hosts – Raging Red, Laquered Duck, and Scuba_Christ will make this a holiday to remember 😉

PS3 – April Crew Party Manifesto – The San Andreas Revolution

Join the gang on PSNPussi Riot PSN and here… Pussi Riot PSN official blog

“The first duty of a revolutionary is to be educated.”
― Ernesto ‘Che’ Guevara

Wise words from perhaps the most famous revolutionary of all time. Now how about living by them and actually read all the party info?

  • The party will be on May 2 at 20:00GMT.
  • Make sure you’ve read the story before participating. It makes it all the more fun when you know what’s going on.
  • Everyone who owns a PS3 is welcome to join in on the fun.
  • Participants will be split into two teams. One team of revolutionaries and another of a squad of Merryweather soldiers.
  • The revolutionary team has to win missions in order to successfully start a revolution. The Merryweather team has to win missions to prevent a revolution.
  • The dress code is, you guessed it, ‘revolutionary’.
  • Weapons and ammunition will be provided during the missions, so you don’t have to spend all your hard earned heist cash on ammunition.
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©omrade Molly ‘the mean’ Maureen Hollywell

The Story

(Here’s some music to set the mood)

It’s early March 2019. The United States’ debt crisis continues to spiral out of control. The country now has 21 trillion dollars in debt and the government is once again about to go bankrupt. The usual giant wads of foreign cash are no longer an option, as the world has come to realize that the ‘land of opportunity’ is nothing more than an old giant clinging to the cliffs with it’s last finger.

With bankruptcy imminent and a civil war peeking around the corner, China who owns a 7.2% cut of the debt pie, has offered a way out. The Chinese government is willing to settle the debt in exchange for the annexation of United States soil. San Andreas to be exact. With the country’s best interests at heart, the government accepts the offer.

A Sino-American provisional government is appointed to make the annexation of San Andreas go as smoothly as possible. However the people of San Andreas will not stand for it. A period of social uprising starts. Riots and protests are at the order of the day. The provisional governments response becomes increasingly violent. What started out with propaganda and a few arrests here and there has become the disappearance of entire families, torture, prosecutions without trial, executions and deadly force against protesters.

“The revolution is not an apple that falls when ripe. You have to make it fall.”
― Che Guevara

Something has to be done. The social injustice that has it’s roots deep within the greed of a corrupt people must be stopped. Team one, a group of rebels from South Los Santos, has organized itself into ‘The Movement Of May The Second’ sets out to do just that. It’s mission to unite the people and spark a revolution.

“Above all, always be capable of feeling deeply any injustice committed against anyone, anywhere in the world.”
― Che Guevara
Peace is a valuable good that has to be protected. Such is the duty of a civilian and most importantly, a human being. Or so that’s what you, a Merryweather soldier, keep reminding yourself of. Team two fights to keep the peace in San Andreas. Although somewhere deep down inside you can’t shake the thought that the the duty you value so much comes with a price too high.

Prologue – Inter arma enim silent leges

Chapter 1 – Food for Force

Our beloved supreme Sino-American government has started rationing food. Imagine that, rationing food in America! Are the Chinese really that crazy for junk food? Small futile attempts at raiding soup kitchens are at the order of the day. One of the most popular ones is located in West Vinewood, across a building site. A crowd of hungry desperate people is becoming more and more rowdy and Merryweather has been dispatched. As for the rest of this story, you know the drill.

Chapter 2 – The Round Up

Immigrants are being blamed for the problems within Los Santos (Ignoring the governors of the city are immigrants, hypocrites!) the easiest way to solve this is to deport some of our more “colourful” friends.

Rebel team: Prevent the deportation. Drop the soon to be refugees off at your workplace at the docks for now. No one will look for them there.

Merryweather: Deport the immigrants. Pick them up and bring them to the docks where a ship is waiting for them.

Lucratori te salutant

Chapter 1 – Insurgents and Technicalities

Objective: Pick up and deliver your armed vehicle to your base before the other does. The mission doesn’t involve fighting and is essentially a race.

rebel flag

Story: Word has spread of your efforts fighting injustice in southern L.S. and small group of rebels in Vespucci Beach led by former arms trafficker Oscar Guzman wants to join forces with you. There is just one problem however. Merryweather has become aware of the location of Guzman’s rebel base and is about to deploy a squad of heavily armed Merryweather mercenaries to make them all mysteriously disappear in preliminary detention. Move Guzman’s equipment, firearms, grenades and four Rebel pick-up trucks, one of which with mounted machine gun to your base (which is your workplace. Your boss has fled the country, so he won’t mind) as quickly as possible.

With Guzman’s support we can start thinking bigger. The media just covers up our small attacks as unfortunate accidents on Merryweather’s part. If we strike them hard, if we put them to shame, they’ll no longer be able to ignores us. Hasta la victoria siempre!

Gains:

  • A base of operations
  • 1 Technical armed truck
  • 3 Rebel trucks
  • A variety of medium powered firearms
  • Grenades

Merryweather Flag

Story: Listen up shit heels! Provisional government chairman  Tiankai is not pleased with our performance. There are riots all over our beautiful Even Farther East city and Mr Weston wants action. He’s sourced us more Insurgents LPV’s, one of which with a mounted machine gun, and some extra heavy firepower with a steady supply of ‘rubber bullets’. Don’t give me that look soldier! I’m sure there’s a few molecules of rubber on those commie stoppers. Now move it ladies! I want to hear those cunts whistling in the wind! Get the trucks and report back to base!

Gains:

  • A base of operations
  • 1 armed Insurgent Pick-up truck
  • 3 unarmed Insurgent
  • A small variety of heavy machine guns

Chapter 2 – The La Puerta Checkpoint Raid

Objective: Take the heavy weapons from the checkpoint and defeat the other team.

rebel flag

Story: One of Guzman’s intelligence operatives has heard of a great opportunity that will put The Movement on the map and show the people of San Andreas that there’s still hope for change. A new checkpoint has opened on the La Puerta freeway, conveniently located in between two parking garages. The Merryweather team in charge of the checkpoint is heavily armed, but also fresh out of the academy. If we take position on top of both garages we can easily pin them down and move in to steal their weapon supplies. East team: Take cover and use the Technical to distract Merryweather. West team: While Merryweather distracted, use grenades to blow up the Insurgent pick-up. Three grenades ought to do the trick.

Gains:

  • Increased support of the People of San Andreas
  • A large supply of heavy firearms and explosives
  • Sets of Merryweather uniforms

Merryweather Flag

Story: TEEEEEEN HUT! Alright you soup sandwiches, listen up! Tiankai has ordered a new checkpoint be opened on the La Puerta freeway and the government needs a team of degenerates to operate it, you! Check every vehicle going through. If thing get heated for some reason, and I don’t mean any licky-licky action you sickos, there’s an extra armed insurgent at your disposal and a large supply of firearms. MOVE IT, MOVE IT, MOVE IT!

Gains:

  • A large supply of heavy firearms and explosives
  • An extra armed insurgent pick-up truck due to increased terrorist activity

Chapter 3 – Non Sequitur

Objective: Deliver/steal the M-02-05 supplies and bring it to your (new) base

rebel flag

Story: Our eyes are bigger than our stomachs. Our warehouse has simply become too small. Over the past few weeks more and more rebels joined our cause and the place is full of guns and vehicles. We need a new base of operations asap! With this much going on at a small warehouse, Merryweather is sure to catch onto us any day now. Luckily Guzman has a cunning plan. It’s a high risk mission, so it’s on a need to know basis only and the only thing you need to know is that you have to move all of our supplies to the Merryweather base to the rest of here. Guzman’s guys will take care of the rest.

Gains:

  • A new, much larger, base
  • Loads of Merryweather equipment

Merryweather Flag

Story: Ops to Pacific Allied Shipyard team… Ops to Pacific Allied Shipyard team… Pacific Allied Shipyard team respond… damn those guys. Ops to Merryweather patrol. One of our surveillance drones has picked up terrorist activity on Elysian Island west of our base. Suspects are heavily armed. Move in to intercept. When suspects are elimin… apprehended, move terrorist equipment to Pacific Allied Shipyard team and investigate possible communications malfunction.

Gains:

  • Loads of rebel equipment

Chapter 4 – Flight of the Valkyrie

Objective: Ambush and steal the Valkyrie from the IAA heist team.

rebel flag

Story: I love Guzman’s intelligence op. He has managed to tap into Merryweather’s ‘secure’ com channel and picked up on their red alert. Apparently the Humane Labs has been raided by a team of four people in a Valkyrie attack chopper. We could really use one for the revolution. They were last seen at the Land Act Reservoir. Better get there quick. And be careful, Merryweather has a real lady boner for this one.

Gains:

  • Valkyrie attack helicopter

Merryweather Flag

Story: CODE RED! ALL SOUP SANDWICHES REPORT TO THE DEPLOYMENT BAY! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! Security at Humane Labs has been breached. Helicopter squadron has been downed by a team of four suspects in a recently stolen Valkyrie. Suspects were last reported attempting to land at the Land Act Reservoir. Deadly force is permitted. Bring back the Valkyrie and any stolen objects and information.

Gains:

  • Valkyrie attack helicopter

Chapter 5 – Propaganda Speech

Objective:

Merryweather: Drive the recording down to city hall.

Rebels: Intercept the recording and take it to its own base.

rebel flag

Story: This just in over the Merryweather channel. Tiankai is about to send a big speech over the airwaves on all frequencies that could severely damage the people’s trust in the oncoming revolution. We need to stop that recording from reaching City Hall. Grab a Sanchez and take the recording to Guzman’s troops, who have positioned themselves at the abandoned Maibatsu factory. We will coordinate the future war effort from there.

Merryweather Flag

Story: OKAY SHIT HEELS, LISTEN UP! Tiankai fears a full scale revolution may be imminent. As a response he has pre-recorded a speech for the masses. Deliver the recording to city hall. Hopefully it will have the same effect as it had when Juan Carlos I of Spain stopped a coup by appearing on TV.

Aut Vincere Aut Mori

The people have been called upon. They have taken to the streets. The revolution is here! Today history will be written. The world will see who controls San Andreas!

Chapter 1 – M-02-05 is coming

Merryweather has found out about M-02-05’s base at the Maibatsu factory. If the rebels are to succeed in their efforts, they will have to defeat the Merryweather team assigned to taking them down.

Chapter 2 – Bringing the Cavalry

Thanks to Guzman’s cunning, Merryweather still thinks the base at the Pacific Allied Shipyard is still under Merryweather control. Most of M-02-05’s equipment is located there and is needed for the final siege against Merryweather and the provisional government. The rebels couldn’t get Merryweather of their tail in time and will have to fight for it.

Chapter 3 – Storming Merryweather’s

The rebels are taking the fight to Merryweather… literally! Quickly disabling the main Merryweather base is vital if the rebels are to take control of San Andreas. On the other hand if Merryweather can stop M-02-05 here the revolution will be no more than a small uprising at the docks.

Finale – City Hall

(NOTE: NOT A CAPTURE. MEANT TO BE PLAYED AS A TEAM DEATHMATCH)

The big push. This is what M-02-05 has been working for and what the government and Merryweather have worked so hard for to prevent. Whoever wins this battle will have control over all of San Andreas, but can they keep control over it? That is up to how well the teams did in the precious chapters. Good luck!

HASTA LA VICTORIA SIEMPRE!