PS4 – The Annual Pussi Riot Vacation

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Poor Molly can’t be arsed this month and I reckon I know why…She needs a holiday!

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All that overtime she’s been putting in at Fleeca hasn’t been enough to pay for that lovely new chrome Osiris that she claims to everyone that she doesn’t want. But if truth be known its more to do with the fact that Blondie has been borrowing cash off her left right and centre and Grody has been causing her to lose all her no claims bonus on vehicle repairs…Poor Molly 😥
So this coming Saturday (May 27) we will party like we’ve never partied before as we’re going to join Ms Holywell on a week long vacation to San Andreas’s warmer resorts (btw that’s a week in GTA time which equates to an evening in real time!)

Now the first thing you do when your about to set off on your holidays is to make sure you’ve packed everything you need in your suitcase. So make sure you have your passport, sun tan lotion, and shades with ya. You’re also gonna need to make sure you have the right outfit for the right occasion. Obviously you’re gonna need that skimpy bikini to show off the bod  you’ve been working on down at the gym since New Years. But this is a Pussi Riot vacation so you’re gonna be taking part in all kinds of activities that the tour rep has put on. So make sure to pack a sturdy pair of walking boots and a rain coat, as the last thing you need is to get caught in a thunder storm with just your heels!

We’ll then all meet up at LS International Airport where we will take to the skies in order to embark on our journey to the first mystery exotic destination. I say mystery coz  not even the pilot knows where we’re going yet….But I’m sure it will all be fine.

Once we’ve had plenty of opportunity to sun ourselves, take a dip in the sea and take in some of the sights we’ll start the first playlist. Which this month has been specially selected by our tour guide (coz its a budget package deal) So don’t go blaming Scuba if the races are too hard or if there’s not enough death matches coz she didn’t get to chose the activities ok! ;-P

Flight of the Osiris

osiris

For many of us the highlight of the recent DLC was the introduction of the Pegassi Osiris. Finally a car in GTA that is as beautiful as it is fast. It’s also a very sturdy and versatile car that can cope easily with most conditions.

Now the most prominent feature on this admittedly over priced super car is its gull wing doors. But apart from been a swish way to get in and out of your car these doors serve no other purpose

………………………………………..OR DO THEY??

I’ve devised a little free roam party game which involves climbing to the top of Ratton Canyon to the bridge where you jump off at the end of the Pacific Standard Heist finale.

You will then need to phone for your Osiris. Don’t worry if you haven’t got one as we need passengers to be able to pull this trick off.

We will then take it in turns in pairs to hurtle at top speed off the cliff’s edge and then at the optimum moment both driver and passenger will exit the Osiris and parachute to safety. The car should then glide for some time before coming to a stop.

The winner will be the pair who manage to get the Osiris to fly the furthest.

The Finale

We haven’t stormed the military base at the end of a party for quite some time now. So lets do just that! It should be especially fun now that many of have Hydra’s, Valkyries and Savages. We could also try air lifting Rhino’s and Insurgents with Cargo Bobs.

This isn’t strictly part of the tour operators list of planned activities. But I’m sure Bobcat will have killed the tour guide before we even take off in the first place, so who gives a fuck what they want us to do and in which order?

We are Pussi Riot, so we don’t need no jumped up lil nazi to tell us what we can do or when we can do it.

All this sound good to you? Well just make sure your online this Saturday night where your hosts – Raging Red, Laquered Duck, and Scuba_Christ will make this a holiday to remember 😉

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PS3 – April Crew Party Manifesto – The San Andreas Revolution

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“The first duty of a revolutionary is to be educated.”
― Ernesto ‘Che’ Guevara

Wise words from perhaps the most famous revolutionary of all time. Now how about living by them and actually read all the party info?

  • The party will be on May 2 at 20:00GMT.
  • Make sure you’ve read the story before participating. It makes it all the more fun when you know what’s going on.
  • Everyone who owns a PS3 is welcome to join in on the fun.
  • Participants will be split into two teams. One team of revolutionaries and another of a squad of Merryweather soldiers.
  • The revolutionary team has to win missions in order to successfully start a revolution. The Merryweather team has to win missions to prevent a revolution.
  • The dress code is, you guessed it, ‘revolutionary’.
  • Weapons and ammunition will be provided during the missions, so you don’t have to spend all your hard earned heist cash on ammunition.
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©omrade Molly ‘the mean’ Maureen Hollywell

The Story

(Here’s some music to set the mood)

It’s early March 2019. The United States’ debt crisis continues to spiral out of control. The country now has 21 trillion dollars in debt and the government is once again about to go bankrupt. The usual giant wads of foreign cash are no longer an option, as the world has come to realize that the ‘land of opportunity’ is nothing more than an old giant clinging to the cliffs with it’s last finger.

With bankruptcy imminent and a civil war peeking around the corner, China who owns a 7.2% cut of the debt pie, has offered a way out. The Chinese government is willing to settle the debt in exchange for the annexation of United States soil. San Andreas to be exact. With the country’s best interests at heart, the government accepts the offer.

A Sino-American provisional government is appointed to make the annexation of San Andreas go as smoothly as possible. However the people of San Andreas will not stand for it. A period of social uprising starts. Riots and protests are at the order of the day. The provisional governments response becomes increasingly violent. What started out with propaganda and a few arrests here and there has become the disappearance of entire families, torture, prosecutions without trial, executions and deadly force against protesters.

“The revolution is not an apple that falls when ripe. You have to make it fall.”
― Che Guevara

Something has to be done. The social injustice that has it’s roots deep within the greed of a corrupt people must be stopped. Team one, a group of rebels from South Los Santos, has organized itself into ‘The Movement Of May The Second’ sets out to do just that. It’s mission to unite the people and spark a revolution.

“Above all, always be capable of feeling deeply any injustice committed against anyone, anywhere in the world.”
― Che Guevara
Peace is a valuable good that has to be protected. Such is the duty of a civilian and most importantly, a human being. Or so that’s what you, a Merryweather soldier, keep reminding yourself of. Team two fights to keep the peace in San Andreas. Although somewhere deep down inside you can’t shake the thought that the the duty you value so much comes with a price too high.

Prologue – Inter arma enim silent leges

Chapter 1 – Food for Force

Our beloved supreme Sino-American government has started rationing food. Imagine that, rationing food in America! Are the Chinese really that crazy for junk food? Small futile attempts at raiding soup kitchens are at the order of the day. One of the most popular ones is located in West Vinewood, across a building site. A crowd of hungry desperate people is becoming more and more rowdy and Merryweather has been dispatched. As for the rest of this story, you know the drill.

Chapter 2 – The Round Up

Immigrants are being blamed for the problems within Los Santos (Ignoring the governors of the city are immigrants, hypocrites!) the easiest way to solve this is to deport some of our more “colourful” friends.

Rebel team: Prevent the deportation. Drop the soon to be refugees off at your workplace at the docks for now. No one will look for them there.

Merryweather: Deport the immigrants. Pick them up and bring them to the docks where a ship is waiting for them.

Lucratori te salutant

Chapter 1 – Insurgents and Technicalities

Objective: Pick up and deliver your armed vehicle to your base before the other does. The mission doesn’t involve fighting and is essentially a race.

rebel flag

Story: Word has spread of your efforts fighting injustice in southern L.S. and small group of rebels in Vespucci Beach led by former arms trafficker Oscar Guzman wants to join forces with you. There is just one problem however. Merryweather has become aware of the location of Guzman’s rebel base and is about to deploy a squad of heavily armed Merryweather mercenaries to make them all mysteriously disappear in preliminary detention. Move Guzman’s equipment, firearms, grenades and four Rebel pick-up trucks, one of which with mounted machine gun to your base (which is your workplace. Your boss has fled the country, so he won’t mind) as quickly as possible.

With Guzman’s support we can start thinking bigger. The media just covers up our small attacks as unfortunate accidents on Merryweather’s part. If we strike them hard, if we put them to shame, they’ll no longer be able to ignores us. Hasta la victoria siempre!

Gains:

  • A base of operations
  • 1 Technical armed truck
  • 3 Rebel trucks
  • A variety of medium powered firearms
  • Grenades

Merryweather Flag

Story: Listen up shit heels! Provisional government chairman  Tiankai is not pleased with our performance. There are riots all over our beautiful Even Farther East city and Mr Weston wants action. He’s sourced us more Insurgents LPV’s, one of which with a mounted machine gun, and some extra heavy firepower with a steady supply of ‘rubber bullets’. Don’t give me that look soldier! I’m sure there’s a few molecules of rubber on those commie stoppers. Now move it ladies! I want to hear those cunts whistling in the wind! Get the trucks and report back to base!

Gains:

  • A base of operations
  • 1 armed Insurgent Pick-up truck
  • 3 unarmed Insurgent
  • A small variety of heavy machine guns

Chapter 2 – The La Puerta Checkpoint Raid

Objective: Take the heavy weapons from the checkpoint and defeat the other team.

rebel flag

Story: One of Guzman’s intelligence operatives has heard of a great opportunity that will put The Movement on the map and show the people of San Andreas that there’s still hope for change. A new checkpoint has opened on the La Puerta freeway, conveniently located in between two parking garages. The Merryweather team in charge of the checkpoint is heavily armed, but also fresh out of the academy. If we take position on top of both garages we can easily pin them down and move in to steal their weapon supplies. East team: Take cover and use the Technical to distract Merryweather. West team: While Merryweather distracted, use grenades to blow up the Insurgent pick-up. Three grenades ought to do the trick.

Gains:

  • Increased support of the People of San Andreas
  • A large supply of heavy firearms and explosives
  • Sets of Merryweather uniforms

Merryweather Flag

Story: TEEEEEEN HUT! Alright you soup sandwiches, listen up! Tiankai has ordered a new checkpoint be opened on the La Puerta freeway and the government needs a team of degenerates to operate it, you! Check every vehicle going through. If thing get heated for some reason, and I don’t mean any licky-licky action you sickos, there’s an extra armed insurgent at your disposal and a large supply of firearms. MOVE IT, MOVE IT, MOVE IT!

Gains:

  • A large supply of heavy firearms and explosives
  • An extra armed insurgent pick-up truck due to increased terrorist activity

Chapter 3 – Non Sequitur

Objective: Deliver/steal the M-02-05 supplies and bring it to your (new) base

rebel flag

Story: Our eyes are bigger than our stomachs. Our warehouse has simply become too small. Over the past few weeks more and more rebels joined our cause and the place is full of guns and vehicles. We need a new base of operations asap! With this much going on at a small warehouse, Merryweather is sure to catch onto us any day now. Luckily Guzman has a cunning plan. It’s a high risk mission, so it’s on a need to know basis only and the only thing you need to know is that you have to move all of our supplies to the Merryweather base to the rest of here. Guzman’s guys will take care of the rest.

Gains:

  • A new, much larger, base
  • Loads of Merryweather equipment

Merryweather Flag

Story: Ops to Pacific Allied Shipyard team… Ops to Pacific Allied Shipyard team… Pacific Allied Shipyard team respond… damn those guys. Ops to Merryweather patrol. One of our surveillance drones has picked up terrorist activity on Elysian Island west of our base. Suspects are heavily armed. Move in to intercept. When suspects are elimin… apprehended, move terrorist equipment to Pacific Allied Shipyard team and investigate possible communications malfunction.

Gains:

  • Loads of rebel equipment

Chapter 4 – Flight of the Valkyrie

Objective: Ambush and steal the Valkyrie from the IAA heist team.

rebel flag

Story: I love Guzman’s intelligence op. He has managed to tap into Merryweather’s ‘secure’ com channel and picked up on their red alert. Apparently the Humane Labs has been raided by a team of four people in a Valkyrie attack chopper. We could really use one for the revolution. They were last seen at the Land Act Reservoir. Better get there quick. And be careful, Merryweather has a real lady boner for this one.

Gains:

  • Valkyrie attack helicopter

Merryweather Flag

Story: CODE RED! ALL SOUP SANDWICHES REPORT TO THE DEPLOYMENT BAY! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! Security at Humane Labs has been breached. Helicopter squadron has been downed by a team of four suspects in a recently stolen Valkyrie. Suspects were last reported attempting to land at the Land Act Reservoir. Deadly force is permitted. Bring back the Valkyrie and any stolen objects and information.

Gains:

  • Valkyrie attack helicopter

Chapter 5 – Propaganda Speech

Objective:

Merryweather: Drive the recording down to city hall.

Rebels: Intercept the recording and take it to its own base.

rebel flag

Story: This just in over the Merryweather channel. Tiankai is about to send a big speech over the airwaves on all frequencies that could severely damage the people’s trust in the oncoming revolution. We need to stop that recording from reaching City Hall. Grab a Sanchez and take the recording to Guzman’s troops, who have positioned themselves at the abandoned Maibatsu factory. We will coordinate the future war effort from there.

Merryweather Flag

Story: OKAY SHIT HEELS, LISTEN UP! Tiankai fears a full scale revolution may be imminent. As a response he has pre-recorded a speech for the masses. Deliver the recording to city hall. Hopefully it will have the same effect as it had when Juan Carlos I of Spain stopped a coup by appearing on TV.

Aut Vincere Aut Mori

The people have been called upon. They have taken to the streets. The revolution is here! Today history will be written. The world will see who controls San Andreas!

Chapter 1 – M-02-05 is coming

Merryweather has found out about M-02-05’s base at the Maibatsu factory. If the rebels are to succeed in their efforts, they will have to defeat the Merryweather team assigned to taking them down.

Chapter 2 – Bringing the Cavalry

Thanks to Guzman’s cunning, Merryweather still thinks the base at the Pacific Allied Shipyard is still under Merryweather control. Most of M-02-05’s equipment is located there and is needed for the final siege against Merryweather and the provisional government. The rebels couldn’t get Merryweather of their tail in time and will have to fight for it.

Chapter 3 – Storming Merryweather’s

The rebels are taking the fight to Merryweather… literally! Quickly disabling the main Merryweather base is vital if the rebels are to take control of San Andreas. On the other hand if Merryweather can stop M-02-05 here the revolution will be no more than a small uprising at the docks.

Finale – City Hall

(NOTE: NOT A CAPTURE. MEANT TO BE PLAYED AS A TEAM DEATHMATCH)

The big push. This is what M-02-05 has been working for and what the government and Merryweather have worked so hard for to prevent. Whoever wins this battle will have control over all of San Andreas, but can they keep control over it? That is up to how well the teams did in the precious chapters. Good luck!

HASTA LA VICTORIA SIEMPRE!

PS3 – The February Crew Party Story – The Big Squeeze

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The year is 1931. Prohibition is nearing it’s end, though the Chicago pianos are still hot with fighting over all the giggle juice coming into the city. In the end two major players remain, the Los Santos Crime Family run by Jack Dragna and City Hall Gang run by Charles H. Crawford and Kent Kane Parrot.

Now don’t blow your wig just yet doll, there’s a few rules to consider here.

  • Team 1 represents the Los Santos Crime Family and is situated at the Sawmill. Team two represents the City Hall Gang and is situated at a small compound on the north side of the Alamo Sea.
  • Make sure you’re dressed in 1920/1930 fashion. Think bobbed hair, flapper dresses etc. I know some of you don’t have those, but creativity and lots of long skirt and suit jackets go a long way.
  • To keep it realistic, the only guns allowed are the Gusenberg Sweeper, Vintage Pistol and Musket. Again I know some of you don’t own a Gusenberg. If you are among the unlucky few, you are allowed to use any gun in the SMG section.
  • Show up for the meet in one of the following vehicles:
    • Duster (If you can manage to land it in downtown Los Santos that is)
    • Rat Loader
    • Rat Truck
    • Roosevelt
    • Z-Type
  • Though not really a rule, it is recommended to change the colours on your TV/projector to black and white. Trust me on this one, it gives it a real film noire touch.

Chapter 1: Getting First Base

Blaine County may be a big places, but there’s only so many bootleg rackets. The Los Santos Crime Family and the City Hall gang have always been bitter rivals, but have managed to coexist. With Ardizzone dead and Dragna now in charge, the family has started to put the squeeze on vice king pin Charlie Crawford and his city hall buddies, starting with their main front, a sawmill in Paleto Forest.

Team Deathmatch: Team 1 starts off at the two dirt roads leading up to the sawmill, next to a Roosevelt. Team 2 starts off at the sawmill.

Chapter 2: Get A Wiggle On!

The sawmill is up in proverbial flames and is a lost cause. Dragna’s big sixes are trying to get away with whatever is left of the giggle water and the City Hallers have loaded whatever is left in a few Roosevelts. A pursuit ensues. Chase Dragna’s men back to their hideout and take back what’s yours!

Team GTA race: Everyone gets split into teams of two, so there should be eight teams racing. Disregard the story’s two teams for just this race and play rough. You’re only allowed to use the Vintage Pistol and grenades. There’s also a small shortcut, but you’ll need to go full speed to make it.

Chapter 3: Flapper Flyer

Dragna’s hideout turns out to be a small airstrip in Grapeseed. Though small, it’s well protected. City Hall makes it’s way to an airport just outside of Sandy Shores. Crawford wants the giggle juice back and Dragna won’t settle for anything less than a complete victory. Use whatever mode of transportation you can find and bring back the bootleg.

Capture: Two teams, two airports, quickly makes your way to the other team’s base and steal the “giggle juice”. There’s three vehicle types to choose from, Dusters (plane), Rat-Trucks and Roosevelts. If you die you’ll respawn in a Rat-Loader.

Chapter 4: The Chicago Typewriter

A few day have passed since the big showdown and back in L.S. the tensions have risen to a critical point. Crawford and Parrot have security on stand-by at all times, but Dragna wants it all and has put a hit on the two. Crawford and Parrot are personally taking delivery of a rum and rye shipment behind a newly set up speakeasy. Dragna has chosen this as the perfect opportunity to get rid of the City Hall Gang once and for all and he himself will be leading the hit squad.

Last Team Standing: Team 1 starts off in front of a Roosevelt, guns (preferably Gusenbergs) aimed at two team two players, representing Crawford and Parrot. The rest of team 2 plays the role of the latter’s security. Team 2 comes in from all sides, corners and rooftops, while team 1 is stuck in the alley. Basically the ambush gets ambushed.

Epilogue:

With Crawford and Parrot gone, the City Hall Gang dissolves, but the corruption they have brought to Los Santos remains even to this day. If team 2 wins the LTS, Dragna dies and the Los Santos Crime Family loses it’s grip over the city and street gangs start to take over the rackets. If team 1 wins the LTS, Dragna lives and with a little help from back East, the Los Santos Crime Family becomes even more powerful, extending it’s territory all the way to Las Venturas.

PS3 – February Crew Party Announcement

Hello again my pretty princesses… princessi? It’s only been a little over two weeks since the party, but February doesn’t have as many dates (See what I did there?) as the other months, so we have to get more work done is less time. That got us thinking, ‘time travel’.

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This month we’ll be warping space and time, traveling through decades to wherever we’re needed most, much like in that old 1938 Vice City radio program “The Time Ranger”. Though our method of time travel will be slightly different due to the absence of personal penile time travel apparatuses, so instead we’ll do our traveling a la Quantum Leap. At the party we’ll make our way to the quantum leap accelerator and leap into the past, which gives you the role of someone from that time. The only way to leap to the next place and person is to right a mistake that person made in the past, thus changing history.

Accelerator

The details are as follows:

  • The party will be on February 28 at 21.00 GMT
  • PS4 players (or any rioter who owns a PS3 for that matter) are more than welcome to join in on the fun.
  • Each playlist represent a different decade with it’s own little story. The stories will get their own blog post with extra details e.g. the dress code.
  • Make sure you read the stories and keep them with you as you play, otherwise it’s just casual mayhem. You all did last time, so I’m sure this’ll go well again this month. I’m proud of you lad(d)ies! 🙂
  • After the playlists we will do manhunts. The host will place a bounty on someone. That person then gets a 5 minute head start. Whoever kills the hunted places a bounty on someone else, then the whole thing repeats. It got a bit messy last time, but I’m sure we can pull this off. A more detailed description on how to play manhunts will be included in the story post.
  • If you have any further questions, please contact one of the reps listed below.

The Stories:

1931, The Big Squeeze:

A film noire-esque playlist taking place during the final years of prohibition in Los Santos. The Los Santos Crime Family and The City Hall Gang go to war over the bootlegging rackets in the state. Only one faction will take the prize.

The Reps:

  • Muhmuhhuh
  • Mniscus (xMINTYFRESHx)
  • Grody-to-the-max (raxo-d)

PS3 – ‘Police Academy 8’ Crew Party Story

POLICE-ACADEMY

First playlist

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Due to a shortage of police officers *whistles in innocence*, the newly elected mayor of Los Santos has announced a policy requiring the police department to accept all willing recruits, effectively abolishing fitness requirements, educational levels, and medical standards.

I use the term “willing” loosely. As you know you’ve been getting into a lot of trouble since you first arrived in Los Santos. It’s taken over a year and a few thousand good police officers, but they finally took you down. Captain Mahoney, once a do badder himself, has given you two options, jail time or joining the Police Academy.

You of course choose the Police Academy. You’ll fit right in, I mean you respawn constantly and the cops of L.S. are as expendable and douchey as they get.

In the next 14 weeks/minutes you will be trained at the Police Academy located at the University of San Andreas, Los Santos (ULSA) Courses will include PE, shooting and advanced driving in decommissioned police cars (Staniers)

P.E. 101

Move it, move it, move it!! Get your shapely behind to the starting grid cadet! I don’t care if you’re in line to register!, you’re starting NOW! 1 lap around the campus! GO GO GO!

Advanced Driving 101

You’re an L.S. resident so this should be a no brainer, just like you. Race your car to the obstacle course and finish it as fast as you can. The last one to finish has to get coffee and doughnuts.

Academy Paintball Day

Taco Terry’s Vaquero Feeder, a local taco company, and commandant Tackleberry have organized a promotional paintball event at the academy. Last (wo)man standing wins a whopping $100,000 and a personal parking space conveniently located just 15 miles away from campus. As always you’re late for class and you never even took the time to read the memo. When you finally arrive, unaware of the situation, there’s just 15 people left and half the school got destroyed. There’s paintball guns laying around everywhere and in the distance you hear someone shout: “GROOOOOOOOOODY!”. The good cop you are, you move in to investigate and come across some place called “Fort Grody” and even more paintball guns. Suddenly paintballs are flying over your head, nearly hitting you. Hiding from this trigger happy moron you see a leaflet on the ground. Paintball day? You finally know what going on and you realize what to do. Win the game and donate the money to the school so they can repair this nuthouse.

Advanced driving 102

It’s the last day of school and it’s time to put your new skills to the test. How you’ve made it this far is a mystery to me, but you did it. In order to graduate you have to take a Stanier around town through tight corners and alleyways. Last one to finish gets assigned desk duty, so don’t expect your classmates to play nice.

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Second playlist

You’ve (more or less) successfully completed your training and you’ve been assigned to the two shittiest precincts in town. It’s your job to clean the mean streets and turn the precinct around… or not.

In this city full of gangsters, starlets and other degenerates, it’s hard not to succumb to the almighty dollar. It won’t be long before one precinct goes corrupt (Vespucci) while the other maintains it’s good ethics (Mission Row). Which method will prevail in the end… is up to you.

Chapter one: Drive The Beat

The best way to earn the trust of the people is to pull them over for driving 1mph too fast/slow, beating them half to death for actually talking back to you and impounding their car. The captain has assigned partners and you’ve just received orders to go on traffic duty. The area is notorious for it’s drug runners and their over the top Scarface-like montages, so be careful opening those car doors, the precinct doesn’t have a handgun budget you know.

Chapter two: Knock Knock…Who’s There?

VESPUCCI:

Those two drug runners you busted on traffic duty turned out to be quite useful… after you took them out into the alley and knocked their brains out that is. It’s probably best to keep that one out of the books. It turns out they work for the Cortez Cartel, a Vice City based operation run by (Colonel) Juan Cortez. You’d better take them down before the Vice Squad does, otherwise this whole thing will become nothing but a synthesizer-laden cop drama with lots of fast cars and bikinis. Make your way to their HQ and book Cortez.

MISSION ROW:

Those two drug runners you busted on traffic duty might turn out to be quite useful. We’ve bugged their car and let them go because of a ‘lack of evidence’. For the greater good we’re just going to pretend we didn’t find the mountain of blow and cheap machine guns in the trunk of their Coquette. It’s not long until we overhear them talking about a deal they’re going to make with a Korean crime syndicate in Los Santos’ industrial area. Get over there and book them.

Chapter three: The Undertaking

Mission Row dispatch has just received a report about stolen police-issue carbine rifles. With the recent involvement of the Cortez Cartel in Los Santos, it is likely that they are involved somehow. Word on the street is, several cops were seen talking with members of the cartel. Could this have been an inside job? Are there cops working with the cartel?

Chapter four: Badge Of (Dis)Honour

A Mission Row patrol has followed on of the cartel members back to their hideout, a large mansion on North Sheldon Avenue. A quick peek over the fence reveals a lot of police issue carbine rifles being unloaded and Cortez talking to a few cops!

MISSION ROW:

Every cop in the precinct has been dispatched. It’s time to take down Cortez and those corrupt cops. Be careful though, they’re not too friendly. Officer Bine tried her asking for a cup of sugar approach and didn’t live to drink the tea. Gather all the evidence before the Cartel takes back the evidence you already managed to sneak out.

VESPUCCI:

You’ve overheard a police dispatch on the chatter. They’re going to take down the Cortez and what’s even worse, they’re coming after you as well. Protect all incriminating evidence on the residence and take whatever evidence they no doubt already have on you, out of their cars.

Chapter five: Cop Shop Chop Drop

Cortez has been arrested and is now facing 287 life sentences and five hours of community service in a local retirement home. Despite his age, Cortez detests old people. He will no doubt attempt to escape soon.

VESPUCCI:

Cortez’ right hand man, who goes by the name of “Tommie” has contacted you. You’re meeting him in a dark poorly lit garage wearing fedoras, sunglasses and trench coats. You “pricks” have been offered five million dollars to get him out of his community service. You’ll have to break him out tonight though. His community service is tomorrow!

MISSION ROW:

A Vespucci cop has given himself in and has offered to tell you everything if you’ll have the DA drop the charges on him. At this point all that matters is getting the rest of the cartel and those corrupt cops.

Apparently the Vespucci precinct is in with the cartel and they’re about to break out Cortez! Take the chopper to Bolingbroke Prison and safeguard the keys.

Chapter six: Prison The Run

The Mission Row cops we’re too late. Cortez and the Vespucci cops have just left Bolingbroke. Chase them back to wherever they’re going and settle this once and for all!

Chapter seven: Redemption

This is it. The final showdown. Colonel Cortez is currently holed up at the Vespucci Precinct after fleeing from the prison under their protection. The Mission Row team has to make their way over to the Vespucci Precinct, eliminate those who are a threat, and capture Cortez back.

PS3 – January Crew Party Announcement

It’s that time again and boy oh boy have we got one in the oven for you!

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(Hey put a little music on will ya)

This month we’re trying something new. Rather than going with a load of themed mayhem and insanity, we’re going with a plot… and mayhem and insanity.

By now you can probably tell what plot we’re going with. In light of all the classic movies getting unnecessary sequels, we’re doing the long overdue Police Academy 8!

Okay first off, PS4ers don’t fret! We’ve moved the date of the PS3 party to be the day after yours. We thought it wouldn’t be fair if you gals didn’t have a proper party this month *wink wink* The date and time of the party are Saturday the 31st at 21:00 GMT.

Over the next few weeks we’ll keep you informed on plot development. It is of great importance that you read those posts, as each job’s plot won’t be included in the in-game job descriptions.

POLICE-ACADEMY

The plot thickens…

Due to a shortage of police officers *whistles in innocence*, the newly elected mayor of Los Santos has announced a policy requiring the police department to accept all willing recruits, effectively abolishing fitness requirements, educational levels, and medical standards.

In the next 14 weeks/minutes you will be trained at the Police Academy located at the University of San Andreas, Los Santos (ULSA) Courses will include PE, shooting and advanced driving in decommissioned police cars (Staniers)

When your training is complete, you will be split into two groups and assigned to two run-down precincts, one on Mission Row and one in Vespucci.

In this city full of gangsters, starlets and other degenerates, it’s hard not to succumb to the almighty dollar. It won’t be long before one precinct goes corrupt (Vespucci) while the other maintains it’s good ethics (Mission Row). Which method will prevail in the end… is up to you.

Miss_03Ves_03

Party Details:

  • The party will take place on Saturday the 31st at 21:00 GMT.
  • The meeting point is at the ULSA. We’ll start off with a photo shoot of us in uniform and a few police cars.
  • After the playlists we will do manhunts. The host will place a bounty on someone. That person then gets a 5 minute head start. Whoever kills the hunted places a bounty on someone else, then the whole thing repeats.
  • PS4 players (or any rioter who owns a PS3 for that matter) are more than welcome to join in on the fun.
  • The party is inspired by the Police Academy film series. If you haven’t seen them already, we strongly recommend that you do, the first three at least. Trust us, the others aren’t that good.
  • We will all wear a uniform:
    • Black team pants
    • Black team swear OR LC Penetrators racerback (for a sleeveless version)
    • Standard armor (inventory > body armor > show armor > standard armor)
    • Aviators optional
  • The first playlist (the training) is free for all. The second playlist (the two precinct good cop bad cop story) is teams based.
  • Make sure you read the plot. It’s not even half the fun if you don’t know what’s going on.
  • Any further questions, contact one of the reps listed below.

The Reps:

  • Muhmuhhuh
  • Mniscus (xMINTYFRESHx)
  • Grody-to-the-max (raxo-d)

Join the gang on PSNPussi Riot PSN and here… Pussi Riot PSN official blog