Poor Molly can’t be arsed this month and I reckon I know why…She needs a holiday!
All that overtime she’s been putting in at Fleeca hasn’t been enough to pay for that lovely new chrome Osiris that she claims to everyone that she doesn’t want. But if truth be known its more to do with the fact that Blondie has been borrowing cash off her left right and centre and Grody has been causing her to lose all her no claims bonus on vehicle repairs…Poor Molly :'(
So this coming Saturday (May 27) we will party like we’ve never partied before as we’re going to join Ms Holywell on a week long vacation to San Andreas’s warmer resorts (btw that’s a week in GTA time which equates to an evening in real time!)
Now the first thing you do when your about to set off on your holidays is to make sure you’ve packed everything you need in your suitcase. So make sure you have your passport, sun tan lotion, and shades with ya. You’re also gonna need to make sure you have the right outfit for the right occasion. Obviously you’re gonna need that skimpy bikini to show off the bod you’ve been working on down at the gym since New Years. But this is a Pussi Riot vacation so you’re gonna be taking part in all kinds of activities that the tour rep has put on. So make sure to pack a sturdy pair of walking boots and a rain coat, as the last thing you need is to get caught in a thunder storm with just your heels!
We’ll then all meet up at LS International Airport where we will take to the skies in order to embark on our journey to the first mystery exotic destination. I say mystery coz not even the pilot knows where we’re going yet….But I’m sure it will all be fine.
Once we’ve had plenty of opportunity to sun ourselves, take a dip in the sea and take in some of the sights we’ll start the first playlist. Which this month has been specially selected by our tour guide (coz its a budget package deal) So don’t go blaming Scuba if the races are too hard or if there’s not enough death matches coz she didn’t get to chose the activities ok! ;-P
Flight of the Osiris
For many of us the highlight of the recent DLC was the introduction of the Pegassi Osiris. Finally a car in GTA that is as beautiful as it is fast. It’s also a very sturdy and versatile car that can cope easily with most conditions.
Now the most prominent feature on this admittedly over priced super car is its gull wing doors. But apart from been a swish way to get in and out of your car these doors serve no other purpose
………………………………………..OR DO THEY??
I’ve devised a little free roam party game which involves climbing to the top of Ratton Canyon to the bridge where you jump off at the end of the Pacific Standard Heist finale.
You will then need to phone for your Osiris. Don’t worry if you haven’t got one as we need passengers to be able to pull this trick off.
We will then take it in turns in pairs to hurtle at top speed off the cliff’s edge and then at the optimum moment both driver and passenger will exit the Osiris and parachute to safety. The car should then glide for some time before coming to a stop.
The winner will be the pair who manage to get the Osiris to fly the furthest.
We haven’t stormed the military base at the end of a party for quite some time now. So lets do just that! It should be especially fun now that many of have Hydra’s, Valkyries and Savages. We could also try air lifting Rhino’s and Insurgents with Cargo Bobs.
This isn’t strictly part of the tour operators list of planned activities. But I’m sure Bobcat will have killed the tour guide before we even take off in the first place, so who gives a fuck what they want us to do and in which order?
We are Pussi Riot, so we don’t need no jumped up lil nazi to tell us what we can do or when we can do it.
All this sound good to you? Well just make sure your online this Saturday night where your hosts – Raging Red, Laquered Duck, and Scuba_Christ will make this a holiday to remember ;)