As the sage Popeye once said, “I am what I am.”

My story is full of bits that I won’t share due to ‘accessory after the fact’ nonsense, so I’ll try and stick to the highlights. My name is Lisa, I grew up in the Ozarks. Growing up, my only friend was our dog since the neighbors were miles away. I was left to run wild until I was old enough for school. I hated school from the very first day of kindergarten till the day I threw my books in the trash and walked out at 17. Jobs were scarce and college was out. So I joined the army.

My father had taught me to shoot, hunt and fish so the army was easy. I served in the middle east for 6 years till a squabble with some Merryweather security contractors went wrong. Facing 3 counts of murder, I lawyered up and said I would go public. Merryweather already had several pending lawsuits for misconduct. The army gave me a general discharge and dumped me in Iraq. One of my platoon mates said he had a cousin in LS so I made my way there. Lamar picked me up at the airport and made a good impression by handing me a pistol as a welcoming gift. With my tomboy upbringing and years in the military, I am not one to do a lot of sweet talking to get my way. So stripping seemed like a bad move for me. I would rather steal than beg. And that is how I started down this road.

When I got here I saw just how dirty this place really was. The corruption, the greed and ridiculous hypocrisy. And I liked it. There is money for the taking here and even at first, it was a cake walk. But make a lot of noise and someone will notice. It wasn’t long before a simple ride to the auto repair was a 90mph gunfight. I am not an army of one and I knew it. Despite my loner tendencies, I knew I needed a crew. I would see, from time to time, all sorts of exotic sports cars screaming around town. When I actually saw somebody getting out of one, She was beautiful, like a model …with a gun. She killed several punks and few cops, waved to me and left. A quick hack of DMV told me who she was. I texted her and bang, I was in Pussi Riot.

I like certainties. Things you can be sure of. The vagaries of morals and concepts like right & wrong are absurd. A coyote doesn’t think it’s wrong to eat a deer. They just do it. Pussi Riot is the family that has my back and let’s me be what I am. So if you see me and all I do is awkwardly wave, sorry, it’s the best I can do. But know that I love each and every one of you.

My military career was ruined by some a-holes, nothing can change that. Will it make me feel better to destroy their facilities and kill their personnel? I intend to find out.

  • From: Ozarks. That’s close enough
  • Born: Birthdays are for children, I buy my own presents
  • Current location: Behind you with a knife
  • Relationship status: In a love triangle with my rifle and my car
  • Sex: Whatcha got? I’m down, just don’t talk a lot
  • Religion: I don’t know, but certainly not one that considers me property

PS4 – THE PUSSI RIOT PARTY PLANNING COMMITTEE

ASK NOT WHAT YOUR CREW

Let me start with a little history lesson – Pussi Riot were founded by our leader, Backof on October 10, 2013. Since then we have grown into the most prominent, powerful and creative all girl character crew in the world of GTA Online.

What has separated us from all the other crews has been our no male avatar policy, our no crew killing rule, and most importantly the wonderful people that make up our membership.

It hasn’t been an easy task getting to where we are today, the higher ranking members have all put in an incredible amount of time and effort to keep us all entertained by creating events, fascinating and funny blogs on our very own Pussi Riot WordPress website, a YouTube channel full of some top notch crew created videos, and our crowning glory – The Pussi Riot Monthly Crew Party.

Since the introduction of GTA V for Next Gen consoles in November of last year, our number has increased but our core membership has been divided. This has obviously had an effect on our monthly parties. Where we used to have just two parties a month, one on Xbox360 and one on PS3, we now have four. This may soon increase to five if the PC community decide to follow suit.

HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM

As one of the two commissioners on PS4, one of my duties includes planning the monthly crew party. This is something I cherish as there is no better feeling than hearing your friends and fellow crew mates howl with laughter at some of the activities that have been prepared for them. However I am the first to admit that the parties on PS4 have been very hit and miss recently.

Why is this?

The answer is quite simple – There has been a lack of a dedicated party planning team! On PS3 Muhmuhhuh and Grody-to-the-Max have been working feverishly together each and every month to plan and host specially themed party nights. The amount of effort those two put in is truly amazing as not only do they write the blog, publicise the event and then host it. They also go to the effort of creating all the jobs that go into the specially themed playlists.

The core members on PS4 have for differing reasons nearly all disappeared or play far less than they used to. This has left me with no team to work with.

Like most of you, I have a life outside of GTA (believe it or not!) This means there are going to be times when I’m not going to be able to write the blog, hype it up, test out the jobs, put the playlists together and host the evening for eight hours straight each and every month.

In fact I’ll go a step further and say…I DON’T WANT TO DO IT ANYMORE!!!!

At least, not on my own. As its no bloody fun!

SAVE THE PUSSY RIOT PS4 PARTY

So dear members I have an ultimatum for you all – GET IN TOUCH WITH ME AND OFFER TO HELP OUT OR THERE WILL BE NO MORE PARTY!!!

THE PUSSI RIOT PS4 PARTY PLANNING COMMITTEE

So what I propose is that we form a new PS4 party planning team. We will meet up once a week at a time that is convenient for all, this will be either online in a chat party or via Skype. Then we can begin to plan for the end of the month party together!

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

In any way that you can! we are a crew made made up of multinational individuals who have all kinds of strengths and talents. Some of you are good writers, some of you are good artists, some of you will be great content creators, and some of you will just be good at making funny stuff happen. Whatever you want to put in then I want to hear from you.

I’m not going to pretend all this is simple, however if we can get a decent team together then it will make it easier for everyone, plus it will be a whole lot of fun…that I can guarantee!

DEDICATION

In recent months I have been consistently let down by people who have offered to help and then don’t follow through. I have no time for time wasters. If you are going to offer to help out then please understand that you will be expected to see it through to the end.

GET IN TOUCH

If you think you’ve got what it takes to be a committee member then I want to hear from you. So you can : –

  • Send me a PM on Social Club (scuba_christ)
  • Send me a PM on PSN (Scuba_Christ)
  • Join me in a PSN chat party (if you have a mic)
  • Or comment in the Comments Box below

PEACE

SCUBA ;)

PS3 – May Party School Uniform Policy

Hello Ladies

As discussed in my last post there will be a strict school uniform code for the May Party. Here is what you may wear…

school4

This is the basic school uniform. It consists of:

A blue and white striped tie

A black Blazer

A white shirt

Black and white Plaid shirt

Sensible shoes (No high heels!)

Now I know everybody wants a little bit of individualism so you do have some options to make your uniform “yours”

school3

For example you can add a rather dashing Cardigan to your ensemble (Actually its a suit vest in Black but whatever…)

school2If you are a scruff you can go for the tatty blazer look along with the loose tie and some trainers (or sneakers as you strange people call them.)

school1And I do realise there are some “mean girls” in the crew who are too cool to wear a blazer. Well Ok I will allow it but you MUST wear the skirt and shirt combo. Annoyingly you cant wear a tie without a blazer…

So to summize….

You MUST wear:

A white shirt (or off white)

The plaid black and white shirt.

Shoes that are not high heels. They can be, black, brown or grey.

We would PREFER you to wear

A black blazer (Suit jacket) any version will do as long as you can wear a shirt and tie under it.

The blue striped tie. (any version)

And thats it really. Anybody not abiding to this rule once the party starts will be subjected to detention and fifty lashings from Principle Grody.

Oh and we do have a sports event going on. The outfit for this is very strict.

school5The light blue t shirt.

White pleated gym skirt

Any type of running shoes. Whatever you are comfortable in for your ten mile cross country run….

Any questions just ask me or Grody!

Class dismissed.

Stop talking at the back!

mollysig

PS3 – May Crew Party – To Cool for School

Good afternoon everybody.

I just thought I would pop in with a little update on what our PS3 May crew party will be.

First of all the date of the party will be:

Saturday 30th May at 20:00 GMT.

Mark it down in your homework diaries as the subject of the party will be something that we are all familiar with, we have all been there, some of you may still even go there… the subject is SCHOOL.

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A Racer’s Perspective X: Off-Road

Off-roading is one of the best ways to have a race in GTA V.  Obstacles such as bumps/jumps/trees/rivers/guardrails/wildlife highlights just how crazy and diverse GTA can be.  And this class is arguably the most diverse class in GTA, having both the largest and smallest land-based-vehicles in the game.  I tried to think of how to open up this review, and the first thing that came to my mind was Mad Max, and then tell them that the new Mad Max is going to be here like tomorrow and then show them the epic new trailer!

But I actually already did that when I reviewed the sports car class, so I have to think up something else (before I move on, I wanted to remind you all that the new Mad Max has some bad ass ladies up in there who are not your typical “oh save me, I need a man to save me!” so be ready for some female rioting).  So instead, I thought I would open up with a movie that is about as close to the reality of Off-Road racing as you will find in GTA: From Dust to Glory.  This is a documentary of the Baja 1000, and is filmed in such a way that the drivers/riders are broken up into classes.  This race is sanctioned by privateers who break just about every law in an attempt to conquer the 1000 mile race.  Check out a clip below from the movie.  At 4:30 the drama for “Mouse” boils over as he eats shit, breaks his finger, some ribs, and separates his shoulder and has to gather his bike up and finish the last sixty miles at over 100mph WITH NO HEADLIGHT IN THE PITCH BLACK DARKNESS OF NIGHT WTF Balls for real.  You have got to see this film if you like anything off-road related.  The soundtrack is horrible, but it is definitely worth the watch and it is free on Netflix.  That is about as close to GTA as I think I can muster, so without further ado, lets have a look at the off-road class.

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A Racer’s Perspective IX: Sedans

Sedans. 

While this might not be the most exciting class in terms of speed, that is not to say that it is not an exciting class to have races in!  Some of my most memorable close calls and comebacks happen in this class.  It is also where I think my other vehicle (shameless self ego narcissistic plug) would fit, my 4-door E36 BMW (posted below on the left).  A 4-door vehicle that I drive everyday because my son will not fit in the backseat of my Nissan (on the right).  This is really the spirit of the Sedan class, cars you drive to work, mostly cars that will get you from point A to point B, and maybe a few cars that can get moving quickly (but ultimately maintain civility in everyday life when you have to drop your brat kids off at school).  Let’s have a look…

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