The Annual Pussi Riot Vacation

PR holiday banner

Poor Molly can’t be arsed this month and I reckon I know why…She needs a holiday!

All that overtime she’s been putting in at Fleeca hasn’t been enough to pay for that lovely new chrome Osiris that she claims to everyone that she doesn’t want. But if truth be known its more to do with the fact that Blondie has been borrowing cash off her left right and centre and Grody has been causing her to lose all her no claims bonus on vehicle repairs…Poor Molly :'(
So this coming Saturday (May 27) we will party like we’ve never partied before as we’re going to join Ms Holywell on a week long vacation to San Andreas’s warmer resorts (btw that’s a week in GTA time which equates to an evening in real time!)

Now the first thing you do when your about to set off on your holidays is to make sure you’ve packed everything you need in your suitcase. So make sure you have your passport, sun tan lotion, and shades with ya. You’re also gonna need to make sure you have the right outfit for the right occasion. Obviously you’re gonna need that skimpy bikini to show off the bod  you’ve been working on down at the gym since New Years. But this is a Pussi Riot vacation so you’re gonna be taking part in all kinds of activities that the tour rep has put on. So make sure to pack a sturdy pair of walking boots and a rain coat, as the last thing you need is to get caught in a thunder storm with just your heels!

We’ll then all meet up at LS International Airport where we will take to the skies in order to embark on our journey to the first mystery exotic destination. I say mystery coz  not even the pilot knows where we’re going yet….But I’m sure it will all be fine.

Once we’ve had plenty of opportunity to sun ourselves, take a dip in the sea and take in some of the sights we’ll start the first playlist. Which this month has been specially selected by our tour guide (coz its a budget package deal) So don’t go blaming Scuba if the races are too hard or if there’s not enough death matches coz she didn’t get to chose the activities ok! ;-P

Flight of the Osiris

osiris

For many of us the highlight of the recent DLC was the introduction of the Pegassi Osiris. Finally a car in GTA that is as beautiful as it is fast. It’s also a very sturdy and versatile car that can cope easily with most conditions.

Now the most prominent feature on this admittedly over priced super car is its gull wing doors. But apart from been a swish way to get in and out of your car these doors serve no other purpose

………………………………………..OR DO THEY??

I’ve devised a little free roam party game which involves climbing to the top of Ratton Canyon to the bridge where you jump off at the end of the Pacific Standard Heist finale.

You will then need to phone for your Osiris. Don’t worry if you haven’t got one as we need passengers to be able to pull this trick off.

We will then take it in turns in pairs to hurtle at top speed off the cliff’s edge and then at the optimum moment both driver and passenger will exit the Osiris and parachute to safety. The car should then glide for some time before coming to a stop.

The winner will be the pair who manage to get the Osiris to fly the furthest.

The Finale

We haven’t stormed the military base at the end of a party for quite some time now. So lets do just that! It should be especially fun now that many of have Hydra’s, Valkyries and Savages. We could also try air lifting Rhino’s and Insurgents with Cargo Bobs.

This isn’t strictly part of the tour operators list of planned activities. But I’m sure Bobcat will have killed the tour guide before we even take off in the first place, so who gives a fuck what they want us to do and in which order?

We are Pussi Riot, so we don’t need no jumped up lil nazi to tell us what we can do or when we can do it.

All this sound good to you? Well just make sure your online this Saturday night where your hosts – Raging Red, Laquered Duck, and Scuba_Christ will make this a holiday to remember ;)

The June PS3 party update – The Can’t be arsed do whatever you want party

Good evening everybody!

I trust you are all well and enjoying your overpriced Osiris’ and ugly Windsors not the mention those “lovely” shiny gold planes and clothes?

But enough of the chit chat, it’s time to divulge some information on this months Pussi Riot monthly party.

Now I am sure the title of this post has got you wondering, well it isn’t a trick but it is a theme of sorts!

This month has been a little bit hectic, I am starting a new job (In real life… I am never leaving Fleeca…) Grody has been rather busy too and hey its summer (kind of) so let us enjoy it too! Also I am watching the women’s world cup so that has taken up a lot of my time this month incase you are wondering why I have been quite quiet this month!

So the theme of this months party is…I cant be arsed!

I should point out to out foreign members that cant be arsed means cant be bothered, too lazy etc etc.

So here is the deal… we will have a bunch of playlists cobbled together by various members of our crew. Over the next week i will be delving in to the vaults to see what games could do with a good dusting off and also what new games are worth a look. We are also going to use some playlists and creations that were left on the cutting floor of past parties or ones we just didnt get to do at the time (like last months Homework section for example)

So again if anybody wants one of their creations adding just make sure it’s useable for 16 players. It would also be nice if some races etc were edited to include the latest updates cars so we can have fun thrashing around with them too!

So do we have a dress code? Well yes we do! Kind of. in a cant be arsed kind of way….

The dress code for this month is to just be as random and slobby as you can be. Have you ever wanted to wear the jogging pants but were worried that people would laugh at you for looking scruffy? Alternately do you usually dress “tough” but have thought that just for once you would like to wear that lovely little flowery dress but were scared that you would lose cool points with the other members? Will this is the time to do it! Beer hat with a suit? No problemo! Bring it on.

And what about cars? Hey if you want to bust out your Chrome Adder then feel free! This month it is totally up to you! Just try to look as ridiculous as you can. For example my without a suit on will look odd right?

And thats it really. I cant even be arsed to add any photos to this!

Ah screw it, you can have one picture, everybody loves cute animals right?

cant-be-arsed

Oh! Dates,  26th June at 21:00 (for now anyway!) yeah be there…if you can be arsed!

As the sage Popeye once said, “I am what I am.”

My story is full of bits that I won’t share due to ‘accessory after the fact’ nonsense, so I’ll try and stick to the highlights. My name is Lisa, I grew up in the Ozarks. Growing up, my only friend was our dog since the neighbors were miles away. I was left to run wild until I was old enough for school. I hated school from the very first day of kindergarten till the day I threw my books in the trash and walked out at 17. Jobs were scarce and college was out. So I joined the army.

My father had taught me to shoot, hunt and fish so the army was easy. I served in the middle east for 6 years till a squabble with some Merryweather security contractors went wrong. Facing 3 counts of murder, I lawyered up and said I would go public. Merryweather already had several pending lawsuits for misconduct. The army gave me a general discharge and dumped me in Iraq. One of my platoon mates said he had a cousin in LS so I made my way there. Lamar picked me up at the airport and made a good impression by handing me a pistol as a welcoming gift. With my tomboy upbringing and years in the military, I am not one to do a lot of sweet talking to get my way. So stripping seemed like a bad move for me. I would rather steal than beg. And that is how I started down this road.

When I got here I saw just how dirty this place really was. The corruption, the greed and ridiculous hypocrisy. And I liked it. There is money for the taking here and even at first, it was a cake walk. But make a lot of noise and someone will notice. It wasn’t long before a simple ride to the auto repair was a 90mph gunfight. I am not an army of one and I knew it. Despite my loner tendencies, I knew I needed a crew. I would see, from time to time, all sorts of exotic sports cars screaming around town. When I actually saw somebody getting out of one, She was beautiful, like a model …with a gun. She killed several punks and few cops, waved to me and left. A quick hack of DMV told me who she was. I texted her and bang, I was in Pussi Riot.

I like certainties. Things you can be sure of. The vagaries of morals and concepts like right & wrong are absurd. A coyote doesn’t think it’s wrong to eat a deer. They just do it. Pussi Riot is the family that has my back and let’s me be what I am. So if you see me and all I do is awkwardly wave, sorry, it’s the best I can do. But know that I love each and every one of you.

My military career was ruined by some a-holes, nothing can change that. Will it make me feel better to destroy their facilities and kill their personnel? I intend to find out.

  • From: Ozarks. That’s close enough
  • Born: Birthdays are for children, I buy my own presents
  • Current location: Behind you with a knife
  • Relationship status: In a love triangle with my rifle and my car
  • Sex: Whatcha got? I’m down, just don’t talk a lot
  • Religion: I don’t know, but certainly not one that considers me property

PS4 – THE PUSSI RIOT PARTY PLANNING COMMITTEE

ASK NOT WHAT YOUR CREW

Let me start with a little history lesson – Pussi Riot were founded by our leader, Backof on October 10, 2013. Since then we have grown into the most prominent, powerful and creative all girl character crew in the world of GTA Online.

What has separated us from all the other crews has been our no male avatar policy, our no crew killing rule, and most importantly the wonderful people that make up our membership.

It hasn’t been an easy task getting to where we are today, the higher ranking members have all put in an incredible amount of time and effort to keep us all entertained by creating events, fascinating and funny blogs on our very own Pussi Riot WordPress website, a YouTube channel full of some top notch crew created videos, and our crowning glory – The Pussi Riot Monthly Crew Party.

Since the introduction of GTA V for Next Gen consoles in November of last year, our number has increased but our core membership has been divided. This has obviously had an effect on our monthly parties. Where we used to have just two parties a month, one on Xbox360 and one on PS3, we now have four. This may soon increase to five if the PC community decide to follow suit.

HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM

As one of the two commissioners on PS4, one of my duties includes planning the monthly crew party. This is something I cherish as there is no better feeling than hearing your friends and fellow crew mates howl with laughter at some of the activities that have been prepared for them. However I am the first to admit that the parties on PS4 have been very hit and miss recently.

Why is this?

The answer is quite simple – There has been a lack of a dedicated party planning team! On PS3 Muhmuhhuh and Grody-to-the-Max have been working feverishly together each and every month to plan and host specially themed party nights. The amount of effort those two put in is truly amazing as not only do they write the blog, publicise the event and then host it. They also go to the effort of creating all the jobs that go into the specially themed playlists.

The core members on PS4 have for differing reasons nearly all disappeared or play far less than they used to. This has left me with no team to work with.

Like most of you, I have a life outside of GTA (believe it or not!) This means there are going to be times when I’m not going to be able to write the blog, hype it up, test out the jobs, put the playlists together and host the evening for eight hours straight each and every month.

In fact I’ll go a step further and say…I DON’T WANT TO DO IT ANYMORE!!!!

At least, not on my own. As its no bloody fun!

SAVE THE PUSSY RIOT PS4 PARTY

So dear members I have an ultimatum for you all – GET IN TOUCH WITH ME AND OFFER TO HELP OUT OR THERE WILL BE NO MORE PARTY!!!

THE PUSSI RIOT PS4 PARTY PLANNING COMMITTEE

So what I propose is that we form a new PS4 party planning team. We will meet up once a week at a time that is convenient for all, this will be either online in a chat party or via Skype. Then we can begin to plan for the end of the month party together!

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

In any way that you can! we are a crew made made up of multinational individuals who have all kinds of strengths and talents. Some of you are good writers, some of you are good artists, some of you will be great content creators, and some of you will just be good at making funny stuff happen. Whatever you want to put in then I want to hear from you.

I’m not going to pretend all this is simple, however if we can get a decent team together then it will make it easier for everyone, plus it will be a whole lot of fun…that I can guarantee!

DEDICATION

In recent months I have been consistently let down by people who have offered to help and then don’t follow through. I have no time for time wasters. If you are going to offer to help out then please understand that you will be expected to see it through to the end.

GET IN TOUCH

If you think you’ve got what it takes to be a committee member then I want to hear from you. So you can : –

  • Send me a PM on Social Club (scuba_christ)
  • Send me a PM on PSN (Scuba_Christ)
  • Join me in a PSN chat party (if you have a mic)
  • Or comment in the Comments Box below

PEACE

SCUBA ;)